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Missy Jadewitch
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Posts: 14
(7/27/06 8:30 pm)
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All of Me [Rendall]
Rating: T
Pairing: Ryan/Kendall, mentions of Ryan/Greenlee, Greenlee/David
Disclaimer: I don't own them; if I did, Ryan would have actually suffered for what he did to poor Kendall.
AN: Written from the perspective of an extremely pissed off Rendall fan after the Rylee debacle; posted because people say it still makes them cry. And that makes me a proud woman. Pretty much AU as of the Rylee marriage, and, please, don't hit me if you cry. Lyrics from Evanescence's 'My Immortal.'
Summary: Even after her death, Kendall still keeps her hooks in him…
All of Me
He sat and he stared and he wondered where his keys were… he had to get to the hospital, and pat Erica on the back and invite her to the funeral, but, that was wrong, wasn’t it? He couldn’t take care of the funeral because he wasn’t her husband, he had no right to touch the body, take care of the arrangements… that wasn’t very fair, was it?
“Eh, life isn’t fair.” He flinched, didn’t raise his head to study the source of the voice because… she wasn’t really talking. She, however, would not put up with him ignoring her and he heard the click of heels, the sigh of playful mocking. She stepped closer, stopping at his side, pausing there and when she spoke again, her voice was sharpened with her laughter. “Are you trying to piss me off?”
“You know what, next time Greens wants to have a girls’ night out… I’m going to make her come to my place. No more of this meeting at Fusion nonsense.” She laughed, and he could see her legs, bare from the knees down, strong and healthy and probably not what they looked like now. Her heels, beaded and blue, were really very pretty, and, once again, probably not what they looked now.
“You like the shoes, huh? Gee, it’s like a big, fucking cosmic joke, you know? I got this pair, Ryan, this gorgeous pair here for… No, you know what, I’m gonna make you guess… Guess who I got these for? I’ll give you a hint, okay? He’s blue-eyed and I can cook an egg on his chest… you know, when he’s not screwing me behind his wife’s back.”
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
Now, he couldn’t stop himself; flinching helplessly, clenching his hands,he jumps up, spinning away from the strong legs and lovely new shoes… striding to the window, looking out, struggling to get the sudden waft of her perfume out of his mind. “Hey, sweetie, what’s with the sudden hyperactive jumpiness? We’ve had this conversation before, haven’t we? About how we need to stop lying to ourselves and give each other what we want… what we need?”
He said nothing, refused to look at the face that he knew by heart. It probably didn’t match the face she had now, not in the slightest and she made a noise in the back of her throat, a playful sound he always enjoyed hearing when he pushed her buttons just a bit too far. “Would you stop moping? I’m the one who’s lying in the morgue, ya know. I’m the one who got swiped by an eighteen wheeler! If I didn’t know the story, I’d be consoling you… sheesh!”
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
“Kendall—” He didn’t look back, because he didn’t have to; he could see her reflection, both hazy and clear at the same time, and it struck him as odd. There he stood, watching morning sunlight glitter off still wet rooftops, drenched under thunderstorms the night before.
“I think it’s fitting that I died in the middle of a thunderstorm… lightning flashing overhead must have made my death real dramatic right?” The shape in the glass moves, graceful steps, and the dark fall of curls shake at her annoyed sigh. “I do wish that you had been there though… corny, I know but… you can’t be in love without being corny right?”
He finally turned, stared at her and she laughs, tilting her head in that little way. “You…”
“Say it, Ryan… just say the words and get it over with, huh?”
“The car—” He choked, closing his eyes for long moments, fighting to stay calm. “You weren’t heading to Fusion, Kendall… you were headed here.” He paused, looked down with shuttered blue eyes. “With your… new shoes.”
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
And, again, he’s blessed with that perfect laugh, all sugar and spice and everything Kane… what Kendall was made of. “I was… yeah, Ryan, I was coming here… stupid thing to do, huh? People shouldn’t drive in rain, especially when you’re not in the right state of mind.”
“Kendall—”
But she cut him off, waved away his attempt with a perfect hand. “I was coming to talk… to stop this…” She smiled slightly at the way he looked away from her, but the life was drained out of her… in so many painful ways. “I was… tired… of being the adulteress… the mistress… I mean, it’s not like Greenlee didn’t know because, you know, she did… does… know. Just like you know where she spends her lunch breaks… right? Huh… lunch dates with Dr. Dave… doesn’t sound that romantic but, then, hey, I’m not Greenlee, right?”
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
Another laugh, this one dulled, hollow almost and he flinched at her next words. “But, I wanted it… the ring on my finger… the big wedding… probably not a white dress though because… yeah, not that innocent, right?” she finished lamely.
“You—” His voice broke, cracked, and he swallowed painfully, trying to breath correctly. “You should have told me… before… you should have called me…”
“Yeah… I guess I should have, but… I was afraid that you’d try to… dodge me.” A snort, a sigh, and she shook her head tiredly. “If I could have, I would have dodged the stinking truck but… hydroplaning must be a bitch for a truck driver, huh?”
“Kendall…” He reached out, hesitated, than decided to take a chance… maybe, she was real and—
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
The crash of a fist against the door caused Ryan to jump, twist partly, and he found himself in the dark room, sitting on the couch, staring at the television set with the one picture of the car and the truck and the… The next knock, louder, was accompanied by Jack’s yell of “Ryan!”
Raising the remote, he clicked “mute” before standing, heading shakily to the door; Jack, pale, drawn, looking his age, watched Ryan carefully close the door behind him, clicking the lock into place before letting his gaze shift back to the television.
“Ryan… Erica wanted you to come… to the hospital… she wants you there.”
“I shouldn’t…”
“Do it for Kendall, Ryan.”
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
There was Kendall, on his couch, smiling slightly at him in her dress, in her perfect shoes, shoes she’d brought because she knew he’d like them… she smiles, a curving of her lips, a crinkling of her eyes… “Go, Ryan, go… I’ll be here when you get back… promise…”
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kzinlove06
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Posts: 178
(7/28/06 7:11 am)
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Re: All of Me [Rendall]
Missy... I have to explain that I've only been watching the show religiously for a little over a year so I probably have a different take on this story than longtime fans, especially those who were Rendall fans.
For me this story isn't sad, its more like Kendall getting her revenge. That was really creepy and I LOVED it! And I loved that Ryan was haunted by her and I especially loved how Kendall enjoyed tormenting him.
And this...
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There was Kendall, on his couch, smiling slightly at him in her dress, in her perfect shoes, shoes she’d brought because she knew he’d like them… she smiles, a curving of her lips, a crinkling of her eyes… “Go, Ryan, go… I’ll be here when you get back… promise…”
For me, she is going to haunt the shit out of him for a lifetime and no matter how hard he tries, he will never be able to escape her. I almost feel bad for him because she is going to have some fun messing with him! bwahahahaha!!!
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CaCire10
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Posts: 21
(7/28/06 9:50 am)
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Re: All of Me [Rendall]
MJ~I've enjoyed everything you've written and posted so far, and I look forward to much more. What I loved about this was the theme, the idea of Kendall haunting Ryan.
I was a Rendall fan back in the day of the Cambias murder/trial/fake pregnancy. When Ryan married Greenlee...grrr...anyway, had I read this then, I would have been in tears. Now, I see it a lot like KZ does, which is not to detract from the story at all, because I still loved it, but not in that sad, tearful way I would have three years ago. Creepy, yes, but I love creepy.
The same part that KZ quoted stuck with me. Kendall is always going to be there for Ryan, whether in body or in spirit, and not always in a good, happy way. I can see her tormenting him forever. This was another great one shot--I really enjoyed it!
I don't think of it as smut teasing...I think of it as forcing you to use your imagination. |
jekyll and hyde 6
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Posts: 36
(7/28/06 4:12 pm)
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Re: All of Me [Rendall]
MJ -
OK, I waited to read this. I'll admit it. I was afraid. LOL!! I should know by now that I'll like anything you write, but I was still worried. I like the emotional punch you pack into each and every fic.
Now for the record, I really liked this. I also took it Kendall as haunting Ryan. Yes it was sad to a point but it didn't endear me to him because I hated that he married Greenlee, and Kendall ended up the mistress. 2nd best again. *sigh* I am all for her haunting his ass for all eternity for that one.
I started watching AMC right about when Ryan and Kendall went to Vegas and found my guy, but I always wanted Kendall to be happy, which translated to the fact that although I preferred Zach for Kendall even as far back as Vegas, I still wanted her to one-up Greenlee.
BTW, the song lyrics? Perfect.
Liz
** Avatar by the Amazing O! **
Beautiful banner below made for me by Kristine with a little help from TK ~
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Missy Jadewitch
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Posts: 16
(7/29/06 1:02 am)
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Re: All of Me [Rendall]
I'm loving the feedback, guys; thanks so much.
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I was a Rendall fan back in the day of the Cambias murder/trial/fake pregnancy. When Ryan married Greenlee...grrr...
*sigh* Compared to Rendall the first, the second go-around was just annoying. As nice as some of the scenes were, the baby pooch on Christmas comes to mind, they kept shoving Greenlee down our throats so, every time Ryan got pissy about Kendall not trusting him, it was disgusting since, hello, she had no real reason to trust him - he was making oogly eyes at Greens every five seconds and often right in front of poor Kendall. So him acting like he was the bestest boyfriend ever and like all the relationship problems were all Kendall's fault seriously didn't work... at all.
The jackass made his own bed and he never did want to sleep in it...
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I was afraid.
*pets Liz*
Better?
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and Kendall ended up the mistress. 2nd best again.
Yep, my feelings while I was writing this. I felt so guilty, writing Kendall dying as a mistress, dying as second best and yet that's what the Muse ordered and so I did it. Despite the pain I feel for Kendall's sake, I always get this insane glee at the knowledge that Ryan will be suffering and will end up completely alone and that Greenlee is going to leave his ass for David and that, in the end, he's going to be miserable, just like he deserves.
Yes, I'm still bitter at how they shredded Rendall for Rylee, can you tell?
I'm giving you guys all sorts of hugs for reading a, gasp! Rendall fic because you guys trusted me with it. It means more than words can say and, Liz, I finally got enough time to read the second part of the elevator chronicles.... hee, you'll get your feedback for that epic soon, promise.
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CaCire10
Administrator
Posts: 24
(7/29/06 10:31 am)
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Re: All of Me [Rendall]
Quote:
Compared to Rendall the first, the second go-around was just annoying.
True. I was a Rendall fan first time around, I just don't remember details all that well from that far back. I liked Rendall the second time in that I loved Ryan standing by Kendall in the trial, but hated his thing for Greens. I was more a Kendall fan wanting her to be happy with Ryan, I guess. Great fic, anyway! Looking forward to more!
color=purple size=2]EzCode Parsing Error: color=purple size=2]I don't think of it as smut teasing...I think of it as forcing you to use your imagina |
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