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Missy Jadewitch
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Posts: 3
(7/24/06 2:54 pm)
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Sweet Dreams [BAM]
Rating: T
Pairing: Bianca/Maggie, Bianca/Lena
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just play with them since they don't seem to really want to.
Teaser: Short snapshot into BAM before the birth and after the rape, like a glimpse into a second that might have happened.
Sweet Dreams
It wasn’t a noise that woke her so much as an absence of noise, a perfect stillness that could only be caused when someone was trying to keep from making noise. Picking up on it far easier than she would have before everything had happened, Maggie, not even fully alert, had rolled and shifted up in a matter of just a few heartbeats, blinking rapidly and wishing she had a bat or a sledgehammer.
Bianca stood staring at her with large sloe-eyes, holding a blanket around her shoulders and sporting a definite bed head. Realizing immediately how badly she had spooked Maggie, the taller girl took a very firm step backward and offered a slight, brittle smile, just a frozen curve of her lips, whispering her apologies quickly.
She was half-way back out Maggie’s room when the petite female made it out of bed, scrambling with the sheets and the blanket before managing to get her bare feet on the ground, catching the blanket the Bianca was holding around herself tightly. “Wait… wait, wait, wait!” she hissed, holding Bianca back just enough to move around her and close the door, effectively keeping the pregnant woman in with her.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, setting her hands on the taller female’s shoulders and gripping with the slightest strength, a feather-light firmness of a guard dog now wired and ready for any kind of battle needed to protect the young still growing in Bianca’s belly, swelling with life a little bit more each day.
When Bianca simply shook her head furiously, Maggie bit back an annoyed sound, something that was a cross between a sigh and a growl, and smoothed her hands down Bianca’s fabric clad arms, noting that cool skin beneath and, looking closer, she picked up the curved neck-line of the tank top that Bianca was wearing under the blanket. “What’s the matter?” she questioned with more oomph behind it.
There was a long moment of silence, dark eyes shifting with a wary unease and a carefully beaten down fright. Finally the barest mumble came from Bianca, and Maggie had to lean forward to pick it up, slight crease marring her forehead and eyes narrowing in concentration. “A nightmare… I had a nightmare.”
Well, that certainly explained the slight tremors that she was picking up in the slim arms under her palms, the faintest shivering that came from emotion and not cold. Absently, considering the words, Maggie moved her palms a few times, slight actions meant to warm up skin. “Oh,” she murmured finally, a thoughtful look settling on her face.
“I’ll go,” Bianca muttered but Maggie wouldn’t have it and when the brunette stepped forward, she moved too, stepping back to keep contact, not invading the precious personal space but doing the emotional equal of sinking her teeth into something and refusing to let go no matter what might come down to strike her.
“I’ll call Lena again…”
“What did she say?”
Licking her lips, Bianca hesitated, eyes raising from the ground to observe the smaller woman with slight embarrassment and a hint of amusement, something hollowed by the still-present fear that was the cause of the shadows in the back of her gaze. “I couldn’t get through, the phone was busy or something.”
“Oh,” she murmured again, nodding restlessly and very suddenly aware of how close she was. Quickly dropping her hands from Bianca’s arms, now warmed from the touch, she flexed her fingers and wrists for a few minutes, finally rubbing them on the fabric of her shorts, shockingly conscious of Bianca right in front of her and not quite able to grasp the ‘why’ behind it. “Is there anything I can do?”
Another silence, something odd about it, something Maggie couldn’t quite understand and on some level didn’t want to and she looked away from Bianca, wanting to look at anything other than at her deepest connection in her life. When Bianca finally spoke, with a slight lilt present in her voice, she cautiously asked, “Can I sleep with you for a little while?”
“Uh…” Maggie hesitated, looking past Bianca to regard the mess that was her bed, and the beamed back at her, half-raising her arms before quickly dropping them back down. “Yes, um… just give me a moment, okay?” At Bianca’s nod, she quickly headed to the bed, yanking off the mess of covers and tugging the corners of the bed the slightest bit.
It took nothing more than a jerk of a chin for Bianca to get the silent order and, without letting go of her blanket, she settled in, rolling around and mumbling under her breath as Maggie shook the sheets from the blanket and quickly dropped it over Bianca, spending more time in tucking the blanket around the pregnant woman.
Pleased that Bianca was suitably covered, Maggie went around, quickly climbing in and yanking them up to her chin, picking up the sounds of Bianca moving around, the movement of sheets and covers, the sound of breathing and she finally glanced over, jerking when she caught sight of Bianca’s large and expressive eyes, warm and reminiscent of some kind of sweet syrup in the dim light.
“Sorry,” Bianca whispered quickly but Maggie shoot her head just as quickly, grinning back and reaching with one hand, finally getting a hold of Bianca’s, the grin growing when she finally accomplished her feat. “Nothing to be sorry about,” she assured her in a quiet voice, rubbing a thumb along the back of Bianca’s hand. “Nothing at all.”
The look she received in answer was perfect and she blushed slightly when Bianca moved forward, shifting her weight to plant a kiss on her cheek, fingers tangling in Maggie’s hair before she pulled away, shaking herself once before rolling back away, hunching into the covers. Within moments, her breathing had evened out and she was asleep.
Funny how it was the woman who wasn’t pregnant who woke up in the middle of the night having to go pee, running out of the bedroom like a madwoman.
Maggie ended up hitting two doorways before managing to reach the bathroom and even managed to slam her toe with the door, letting out a muffled hiss of ‘fuck!’ in the night silence, hopping the last few steps and gripping her foot with a hand. By the time she left the bathroom, her foot was already turning blue and her shoulder throbbed mercilessly.
Standing at the threshold to the bedroom, she observed the mass that was Bianca and smiled slightly, almost a grin before she stepped forward, no longer feeling her wounds. Stopping at the side of the bed, she paused before crouching, hand hovering and faltering for a moment before taking a chance and very softly laying a hand on the unmistakable curve of her stomach.
She almost giggled like a loon when she felt the movement that came as an answer, not a kick really but a rolling through the sheets and blanket that felt muffled but obvious at the same time, an exciting blend that made her bit her cheek to hold in the giddy laughter that she could feel bubbling in her middle.
It took a lot of willpower to take her hand away, to straighten and she rubbed her hands, missing the feeling but not wanting to take something that wasn’t hers. This should be Lena, feeling her partner’s baby move in the middle of the night, should be Lena who was comforting Bianca’s nightmares and the guilt made her swallow roughly, biting her lip in emotion.
But the guilt didn’t keep her from leaning back down just long enough to plant a kiss on Bianca’s cheek, lingering until she felt the guilt grow stronger, grow in an almost angry warning inside her. Stepping back and resisting the urge to lick her lips again just because, she quickly climbed into bed, closing her eyes and forcing herself to sleep.
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kzinlove06
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Posts: 172
(7/24/06 5:33 pm)
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Re: Sweet Dreams [BAM]
I wasn't a faithful watcher of AMC at this time. On again off again at best. So I thank you for this lovely depiction of Bianca and Maggie.
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She almost giggled like a loon when she felt the movement that came as an answer, not a kick really but a rolling through the sheets and blanket that felt muffled but obvious at the same time, an exciting blend that made her bit her cheek to hold in the giddy laughter that she could feel bubbling in her middle.
I absolutely adore this description. It takes me back to a time when I was a child, a friend's mom was pregnant and she let me feel the baby move. It's perfect.
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CaCire10
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Posts: 9
(7/24/06 5:46 pm)
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Re: Sweet Dreams [BAM]
Quote:
It took a lot of willpower to take her hand away, to straighten and she rubbed her hands, missing the feeling but not wanting to take something that wasn’t hers. This should be Lena, feeling her partner’s baby move in the middle of the night, should be Lena who was comforting Bianca’s nightmares and the guilt made her swallow roughly, biting her lip in emotion.
This, to me, captures the whole way that relationship went, for all three of them. It should have been Lena, but Maggie was always the one who was there for Bianca. I love how you expressed how torn Maggie was in her feelings--it's exactly how torn I remember her being on the show, as well.
I enjoyed this very much. I hope you have more! Thanks for sharing.
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jekyll and hyde 6
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Posts: 28
(7/24/06 10:27 pm)
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Re: Sweet Dreams [BAM]
Quote:
It took a lot of willpower to take her hand away, to straighten and she rubbed her hands, missing the feeling but not wanting to take something that wasn’t hers. This should be Lena, feeling her partner’s baby move in the middle of the night, should be Lena who was comforting Bianca’s nightmares and the guilt made her swallow roughly, biting her lip in emotion.
But the guilt didn’t keep her from leaning back down just long enough to plant a kiss on Bianca’s cheek, lingering until she felt the guilt grow stronger, grow in an almost angry warning inside her. Stepping back and resisting the urge to lick her lips again just because, she quickly climbed into bed, closing her eyes and forcing herself to sleep.
I wasn't watcing AMC back then either, but from the scenes I remember with these two towards the end, I seem to recall Maggie struggling with her feelings for Bianca - and fighting them. This is a perfect compliment.
Liz
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  Edited by: jekyll and hyde 6 at: 7/24/06 10:38 pm
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Missy Jadewitch
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Posts: 4
(7/25/06 6:49 am)
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Re: Sweet Dreams [BAM]
You know, I got more feedback here in one night than anywhere else, hee! Thanks so much, guys, it's great to get feedback on my BAM stuff, since not too many people seem to remember them, sigh.
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This, to me, captures the whole way that relationship went, for all three of them. It should have been Lena, but Maggie was always the one who was there for Bianca. I love how you expressed how torn Maggie was in her feelings--it's exactly how torn I remember her being on the show, as well.
I always loved Maggie but post-rape, everybody else got to see what I loved so much about her. She was so amazing after the rape, not only in helping Bianca cope with the aftermath but in how she acted when she found out that Binks was expecting. I'll always remember how beautiful those scenes were where they went for the sonagram, that grin on Maggie's face when she first saw the image of little Mimo. It remains one of my favorites, even now. Lena wasn't there; Maggie was. And Maggie always was, even when they flustered and frightened each other with their feelings, which was often. I think Lena loved her, but she wasn't nearly as committed, in a lot of ways, as Maggie always was.
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I wasn't watcing AMC back then either, but from the scenes I remember with these two towards the end, I seem to recall Maggie struggling with her feelings for Bianca - and fighting them. This is a perfect compliment.
Liz always put a lot into those scenes, even if the writing didn't always do much, heh. A lot of confusion--as an otherwise heterosexual woman in love with a woman--and a lot of love at the same time, with how much connection she always had with Bianca and Miranda. It made it real, in ways that a lot of the other couples going on at this time just weren't.
Again, thanks so much for the feedback; you guys have made me a happy, happy girl.
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CaCire10
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Posts: 13
(7/25/06 9:13 am)
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Re: Sweet Dreams [BAM]
So, Missy Jade, this may not be the place for this discussion, but I'm an admin here so I can post what I want where I want (LOL!) and I'm curious as to how you compare Maggie and Frankie. Obviously, like Stuart and Adam, they were played by the same actor, and there's the also obvious difference that one was heterosexual and the other was not, but beyond that, how do you characterize them differently, especially in their relationships with Bianca?
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Missy Jadewitch
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Posts: 6
(7/25/06 9:54 am)
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Re: Sweet Dreams [BAM]
Quote:
So, Missy Jade, this may not be the place for this discussion, but I'm an admin here so I can post what I want where I want (LOL!) and I'm curious as to how you compare Maggie and Frankie. Obviously, like Stuart and Adam, they were played by the same actor, and there's the also obvious difference that one was heterosexual and the other was not, but beyond that, how do you characterize them differently, especially in their relationships with Bianca?
Frankie was, in a lot of ways, more fragile than Maggie as both the youngest and as the one who was more desperate for her mother's affection, something we know from Maggie's comments to David early on. That Frankie would go to a lot of lengths to get her mother's approval while Maggie was more bitter towards Gwen and more anti-Gwen. I mean, they were both vulnerable, see Maggie's relationship with Jonathon, but Bianca got into Frankie's heart and opened it up a little bit. It freaked Frankie out a bit, hence her running to JR, but you could tell that, terrified or not, she wanted to see what this thing with "Bianca-la" would lead to.
Maggie, to me, seemed more closed-off. While Frankie hid her vulnerabilites and fears with bravado and joking, Maggie just seemed to close off and, if you pushed even more, she'd run as far as she could. When Maggie admitted her feelings to Bianca, you could see just how much it took out on her... but Binks only had eyes for St. Babe at the time. When Binks first told her her feelings, she instantly went "I'm into guys... but I love you... but I'm into guys!" Plus, there's that whole 'her dead twin had a thing with the girl she has feelings for' so, yeah, definitely dramatic and intense.
Frankie seemed to crave love while Maggie seemed terrified of it even though she wanted it, too, is how I usually see it. Might not sound like much but that's the best way I have to define the differences, you know?
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DisneyGalCC
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Posts: 620
(7/25/06 10:35 am)
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Re: Sweet Dreams [BAM]
I think you've probably covered it pretty well. Although I certainly remember Frankie and Bianca, I am more clear about Maggie and Bianca since they were more recent. Reading your post brings me back a little farther in the past to the Frankie/Binks relationship.
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Frankie was, in a lot of ways, more fragile than Maggie as both the youngest and as the one who was more desperate for her mother's affection, something we know from Maggie's comments to David early on.
I remember this now that you mention it.
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Maggie, to me, seemed more closed-off. While Frankie hid her vulnerabilites and fears with bravado and joking, Maggie just seemed to close off and, if you pushed even more, she'd run as far as she could. When Maggie admitted her feelings to Bianca, you could see just how much it took out on her... but Binks only had eyes for St. Babe at the time.
And I remember this too, now. I felt bad for Maggie at the time. I wanted her with Binks (and I never liked the Lianca pairing. They didn't seem to fit well, to me.)
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"I'm into guys... but I love you... but I'm into guys!"
I certainly remember her turmoil over that conundrum.
Thanks for the walk down memory lane.
ETA: I knew having multiple personalities would come back to haunt me sooner rather than later. Note to self--sign out of one alias before trying to post as another. CC
Edited by: CaCire10 at: 7/25/06 11:23 am
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luvzendall
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Posts: 262
(7/25/06 2:08 pm)
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Re: Sweet Dreams [BAM]
Quote:
Standing at the threshold to the bedroom, she observed the mass that was Bianca and smiled slightly, almost a grin before she stepped forward, no longer feeling her wounds. Stopping at the side of the bed, she paused before crouching, hand hovering and faltering for a moment before taking a chance and very softly laying a hand on the unmistakable curve of her stomach.
Awww..this was a great one-shot. What a sweet vignette of their friendship! I was only watching off and on back then, mostly off, but you really captured the two characters' personalities for me.
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