jeffie77 Petite Pony
Posts: 5
(5/4/04 7:24 am) Reply
boundaries
i am completely dependent on my parents. i can't physically take care of preparing meals, laundry, cleaning, etc. obviously, can't work or attend school. the doctors are trying to get me into therapy so that i can get a job/finish school. i'm 26 and although lived with my parents all my life, before this was pretty independent. i don't know where to draw lines! if i need something, i have to ask for it or money for it & tell them what i want it for. if i don't go with them they will not go anywhere. this puts a lot of guilt on me but i don't feel up to going or i end up making them leave early. does anyone have suggestions?
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jeffie from xayide2
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chekru Petite Pony
Posts: 1
(5/4/04 10:54 pm) Reply
Re: boundaries
If you would like you can email me and we can talk I have a bladder disease that inhibits me from doing allot, so I understand where your coming from.
Re: boundaries
I would highly suggest councilling, it can really help!
Good luck with things, in the meantime maybe try writing things out. For example, make a list of all the things you need to get done in a day, then do them. Whenever you finish one, put a checkmark beside it- maybe have a column with check marks for weather you did it by yourself or not. And say if you get all things done and by yourself, reward yourself? Just a thought to help fight it yourself.
Also, have you talked to your parents about it? If they know your problem, they can help.
Good luck! *hugs*
~* Misty *~
Thanks to LunaCat for the Misty and Luna graphics!
jackiepuppy Misty's Pet Boyfriend
Posts: 16
(12/4/04 1:26 pm) Reply
Re: boundaries
I too can offer some cognitive therapy exercises that could help, for example:
Get a wrist counter, or a keychain counter... something that you can use to keep track of a number and you can carry with you at all times.
Every time you do something independant, even take a shower on your own initative, or go for a walk, or read something, add one to the counter as a little reward to yourself. That way, you'll be rewarded for independance, and will natural tend to be more independant to gain more rewards. Keep a daily tab of how many times you've clicked your counter, and you should notice after a couple of weeks that the number will increase (there may be a small downturn after a couple days as you get used to having it and the novelty fades), and you will notice an increase in your indepenance.
Addition note to Misty's Solution: Also record the difficultly and satisfaction you expect from the task (on a 0-100 scale), and record the actual difficultly and satisfaction after you complete it, you may find some pleasant surprizes.
If you want more cognitive therapy methods, or just straight up cognitive therapy, e-mail me at myself@freelancejack.com
Make sure to put make the title Cognitive Therapy or something liek that so I don't mistake it for spam.
boundaries
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