Working from home
Whomever it was that said working from home is a dream, lied. Note: Thunk. Thunk, thunk. That is the sound of me banging my head into my laptop.
I love the flexibility as far as hours, but lately I have had a hard time getting work done. My oldest is great about respecting my "work time," but my little-one-- EEK!
How does everyone make it work?
Re: Working from home
"... I would work from the toolshed"
Sounds like a great idea! Initially, the plan was to keep our kids out of daycare and always have someone at home, but I have an 18 month old Houdini who makes working impossible. Today I had a review deadline to meet for a local magazine with a decent distribution. It is my first time working with them and both kids were sick. Needless to say I didn't produce my best work. I was practically in tears trying responsibly balance caring for them and meeting my deadline. Can you say disaster? I'm thinking of trying a day or two a week of daycare and praying that I can justify it by actually working and generating enough of an income.
"Kate, our own Greenwolf has just the book for you!"
Thank you! It sounds perfect for me. I have it on my wish list along with a couple of Jenna's books.
Re: Working from home
I agree it's tough. I worked from home for four months then took a temp job for a couple of weeks to break the monotony. I was about to go insane here by myself all day. I spend a good deal of time on work at home mom boards, but what I've discovered (not to open a discussion about cultural values, but...) is that most of the women on there have no interest in having a full-time income from their businesses. They say, "I'm a parent first and a business owner second," which is fine. My mom was a parent first, too, but if she didn't work, she would have been the parent of starving children. That's the way it is.
Our little one should be arriving in 6 weeks or so, and I'm already stressing about the scheduling. My husband and I have talked about a switching off schedule so that I can write in the evenings. Still, though, working at home can be torture because as another poster said, you're never "home," and you're never "at work." It's a difficult balancing act. I would think, though, that daycare for a couple of days a week would be a worthwhile investment. You could consider just hiring a teenager to watch the kids a few days a week - play outside with them or something - so that you're not tied to daycare but you get time free to work without distractions.
maestrowork Resident Bug Chef
Posts: 5008
(12/10/04 5:35 pm) Reply
Re: Working from home
I can't say I love working at home... on paper it sounds wonderful and I have a very comfortable home and work space... but in practice it's another story. It takes a lot of discipline (and you MUST set up a work space that is "separate" from your home environment -- meaning, it forces you to "work")... also you miss the day-to-day interaction with other adults.
I find I'm more productive when I work at coffeehouses. I enjoy the traffic, people watching, and listening to conversations. It also puts me in an environment that is separate from home.
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. -- MLK
Re: Working from home
Had a long-winded comment. My computer ate it. Short version:
If you use outside childcare part-time, your still ahead of where you would be if you were working outside the home and using full-time childcare. Plus, for many parents, a little time away from their children actually make them better parents.
A note about the boards where moms claim to be "mom's first" and of course, whatever second. I think what they really mean is that they aren't commented to their money-making ventures (at least not right now). They don't depend on that money for the necessities of life. The money they make is extra.
Re: Working from home
I love working from home. There's this balance I try to strike each month, each week, each day, each hour, but it's not the kind of balance I achieve by micromanaging the schedule. Instead, it's a kind of balance that comes intuitively. I don't think I could have done it five years ago, both because I didn't have the confidence in my own intuition, and because I had little ones. As of this year, my baby is in first grade, and so finally the four of them are in school full-day. At some point along this road, I made the decision that I could be trusted to find this balance simply because it's important to me that all of my obligations get the attention they need and deserve, and that I could go on auto-pilot with it. I don't know if I'm explaining it well, but I'll say this--in my younger days I used to be a workaholic. So if I can be this reformed today so as to be able to trust myself, then anyone can. Nowadays, knowing that my heart is in the right place is enough for me so that I'm not racked with guilt most of the time. I do occasionally ponder and re-jigger, but most of the time it just works. I'll be busy typing, and then need a break, so I'll go into the kitchen and make chili. Then I'll be refreshed, and go back to my work. If the kids are home and I'm working (sometimes I work while they're home and sometimes I don't) I've learned how to be interruptible and to trust that I'll meet my deadlines because this was all "meant to be." When they want to go to the library, I take them there and do market research while I'm there. When they need help with their homework or projects, I switch gears.
I suppose working at home isn't for everyone, but on the other hand if you really want to do it, you find a way of thinking about it that works for you. I think that deciding that the balance will kind of "find itself" makes it much easier. The house is falling apart, though.... Linda Moran
A lot of what has been discussed here are common pitfalls writing parents face -- and not just the moms. Setting aside your own writing space, avoiding distractions and multitasking are all very common in the writing parent's life. Stuff you need to work with and find your own method of balancing it all.
Kate, I can empathize with your problem. I may only have one child, but when it comes to having a child is labeled a "tornado," it might as well be three or four. She definitely keeps me busy! And sometimes getting into something faster than I can stop her from getting into. (grr)
When the kids are sick is definitely a problem. Actually, in that book, one of the writers interviewed talks about what she did the day her deadline found her with a sick child. There's also talk about that in the chat included at the end. I've been blessed in that my daughter rarely gets sick (the last time she was sick, with a cold, was over a year ago). But this is where using other tools to help you write (such as a tape recorder or laptop) can come in handy, and when your child naps (since the medicine they take makes them sleepy), you can transcribe everything onto the computer. It's really a matter of doing two things at once, I think. But I don't have enough experience with this to give you the best solution.
Motivation is another thing we have to deal with. Some days, we're too burned out, exhausted or stressed to write. But you need to make it a reminder to yourself to write just a little. Any writing is better than no writing and it keeps you in the habit of writing every day. It keeps your muse tuned in to your creativity. If all you can write is a haiku or a short list of things, then don't beat yourself up if you can't write anymore.
I hope you enjoy the book if and when you do buy it. I find it to be very inspiring even long after I got it all together and published. I've read and re-read it myself. And I really hope it helps you out with a problem or two. Good luck!
Re: Working from home
Boy do I know where you're coming from! Not to get into a long-winded post about my struggles to balance family & work, I'll just say I get it. My youngest is older, but feels just as demanding. Dad is supposed to attend to all of the kids' needs on particular days so I can work, but that works better in theory than practice.
I'm learning to manage my time better by blocking out my work. I devote myself to working nights, weekends, and during preschool. Those are the times when I'll be on my laptop hammering things out.
When the kids are home, I keep notebooks and voice recorders handy. I have a tape recorder and a digital recorder, however it's mostly the notebooks that get used. The kids just don't seem to have that crawl all over me thing going on if I sitting on the sofa with a notebook instead of on the laptop or using the voice recorders (think kids + phone call...).
If I'm having a brain cluttered night, I'll chuck it. Trying to force myself to accomplish something usually drags it out to the next night and the next and so on. I've found that going to bed early one night when I'm foggy increases my productivity the following night.
Preparation. I know that I have limited time to spend writing so I try to make the most of it. I can mentally flesh out a scene during the day and type it up at night. The next day, I can print it out to edit and make notes. By the time my next block of writing time rolls around, I have a nearly polished scene to put into the computer.
One day a week in day care or in the house with a teenaged sitter won't hurt your littlest one and it could do wonders for you if you use that time wisely.
Of course, life doesn't always follow plans. Kids get sick, writing time gets compromised, etc. Do what you can.
Re: Working from home
I have two bachelor roommates so anything can happen to disrupt me. I'm finding myself writing during the night and early morning hours...when it's quiet and still. This plays havoc with my time clock, however I'm a stay-at-home, so I can devote full time to the craft.
Thank you all for commiserating and offering great ideas. I'm going to sit down and have a long talk with my husband ASAP over what we are going to do to improve my working conditions and I am going to buy Greenwolf's book (which I am sure I will love).
Ohh, THANK YOU, KATE!! That makes me a very happy camper. I really hope you enjoy the book and find some helpful information in it. I'm working on the second volume, so if you have any advice/suggestions, feel free to shoot them my way!
Re: Working from home
Dawn,
Just went to checkout your book. Looks like just what I need right now. As soon as I get my next check from the magazine (should be today) I order a copy.
Good work and keep it coming!!!
Re: Working from home
<quote>Ohh, THANK YOU, KATE!! That makes me a very happy camper. I really hope you enjoy the book and find some helpful information in it. I'm working on the second volume, so if you have any advice/suggestions, feel free to shoot them my way</quote>
You're welcome. I will gladly give you feedback if I have any. I just placed my order for both your book (<i>Burning the Midnight Oil</i>) and Jenna's (<i>Make a Real Living...</i>) on Bamm. Incidentally, if anyone wants to add either to their holiday wish-list, the best price I found was at Bamm and they should arrive by X-mas (though it is too late for Hanukkah (and probably Yule-- bummer).
Re: Working from home
Oh man, someone stole my thunder! I was going to suggest hiring a teenager to come a few afternoons a week. That's what I did when my kids were little. It's cheaper than daycare, you don't have to take them there, all their stuff is right there at home. I called the guidance office at the local high school and they had a list of girls who wanted to babysit who lived close by.
Nowadays, I still work at home even though my kids are in high school. People are correct when they say you have to be very disciplined and stay on task. There are many distractions and interruptions. The dishes scream out to be washed, the laundry piles up all around me, and of course everyone expects ME to do all the errands! ("I need this, I need that")
Sometimes I go to the library to work there, be around other humans, get a change of scenery.
I know what you mean
WOW did you hit a nerve with everyone! I am now trying to get back to working at home. When I did work at home I had such low self-esteem that I would write two pieces a YEAR. yeah, well, obviously I wasn't the main bread winner and my kids were small, but now I have three teenagers and they need mama time even more some days than they did when toddlers. It's still a juggling act.
When I go back to working at home (I now write three or four articles a week, plus work on books and novels regularly AND work full time in a professional position), I will keep my office clean and have a set time to start working in the morning. I will set aside ONE day a week to do NO work so I don't feel as if I never have a whole day off, and I will believe in myself so that the money keeps flowing in.....Oddly though, it took my going to work full time to learn to write, not just when I felt inspired, but when it was time to write, since my available time was/is so limited.
best wishes and lots of sympathy/empathy for the woes and rewards of a work-at-home parent.
pam
stormie267 One of the locals
Posts: 175
(12/14/04 8:41 am) Reply
Re: I know what you mean
I have two teenagers, too, and yes, at least for a few hours there's peace and quiet and no thunderous music assaulting me from two different places in the house. Anyway, I found that having a portable phone with caller ID next to me, helps a lot. If the phone rings, I only answer it if it's the school or some other important call. I also don't answer doorbells if I'm in the middle of writing something and I KNOW I'll lose that train of thought if I just raise myself out of the chair. As many writers know, there are people who think that since you work from home, it's okay to stop by or call anytime. I find, though, that as time goes by, friends and family do respect my working time.
Quote:I will set aside ONE day a week to do NO work so I don't feel as if I never have a whole day off,
Pam, you are so right! We all need to spend either that one full day not working. (And when I mean "working," I mean BIC, querying, writing a set amount of words, etc. I still check writer's boards, emails, and read anything I can get my hands on. And if a great idea comes to me, I just scrawl a few words and put it by my computer, to work on the next day.)
Re: I know what you mean
Pam,
You are right, I had no idea that this would be such a hot topic. I'm glad it turned in to one though because I have certainly learned a great deal and it was nice to have someone to commiserate with!
Just before I decided to write full time and give up my nursing career, I listened to a radio show about freelancing. Most of the show was dedicated to how brave freelancers were because the work is so isolating, etc. Another portion was about how difficult it is to find freelance jobs and how to network (by joining their organization, lol). What wasn't addressed was how to manage work and family.
Thank you (and everyone) for your input!
~Kate
Re: I know what you mean
Nice topic, Kate, and great answers, everybody.
I have no kids, so I have no good advice.
All I can offer is the opposite extreme: I love working from home, but for me, it's very difficult to turn it off. I'm here alone and I've gotten into a strong habit of filling my whole life with writing. The moment I walk away from the computer, I feel a magnetic urge to get right back to it. There's no quitting time, so I have a tendency to work from the minute I awaken to the minute I go to bed, even eating at my computer desk. It's certainly a balancing act, and I applaud those who have it down pat better than I do.
Right now, I've just committed to taking off an hour a week-- and I do mean that literally. It's a big step for me! I go out and get my nails done or get a massage and forget work for one hour. I'm hoping to progress to a full day by the end of the year.
But that's one of the reasons I haven't had kids yet. I know I need to change my whole way of thinking and working before I feel confident that I'll be a good mom.
Good luck!
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