Jenna says above, "I've gotten into a strong habit of filling my whole life with writing"
You go girl! Isn't it a blessing to have something in your life that brings so much joy! You needn't worry. Once you have kids, you will bring to them the same fervor that you now bring to your writing, and then you'll have two loves!
Gala Much-Loved
Member of
Our Tribe
Posts: 585
(12/19/04 10:29 am) Reply
working at home
Quote:All I can offer is the opposite extreme: I love working from home, but for me, it's very difficult to turn it off. I'm here alone and I've gotten into a strong habit of filling my whole life with writing. The moment I walk away from the computer, I feel a magnetic urge to get right back to it. There's no quitting time, so I have a tendency to work from the minute I awaken to the minute I go to bed, even eating at my computer desk.
I have this issue to. Working at home affords no separation from work and real life.
I rented a studio downtown with an artist. The rent is cheap, and the heat is on high.
The separation helps me feel home more when I'm here. I still work when I get home from work; my life revolves around writing. But I turn it off at least a couple of hours in the evening and enjoy life. That's new.
And if the cat throws up in the middle of the living room, e-mail comes, or the phone rings while I'm at work in my studio, I am joyously oblivious. Also the track between the kitchen, coffeepot and office needs less cleaning now I'm gone. Who knew.
Re: working at home
Jenna, I can empathize. I was the same way before I had my little one. I wouldn't wake up, write then go to bed, but I did spend at least 8-10 hours EVERY DAY writing. It is definitely hard to turn that off, but you can with practice.
Also, when I became a parent, I didn't "figure everything out" right away. Actually, I didn't even have a "system" for quite a few years. It takes time, energy and just a little trial and error to figure out how to juggle writing and parenting.
You have nothing to be afraid of, really. If you choose to start a family, know that your passion for writing will not waver or die away. Like it was said above, you'll discover you have "two loves" and find a way to devote yourself to each one.
Re: I know what you mean
Jenna,
Whether or not you decide to have kids, you will still need time off, so congrats on learning to take some time away from the computer.
As far as having children... When you have children, you don't really have a choice as far as reorganizing your time. They make sure that you make them the number one priority. On the plus side: you're steady work-habits will certainly become an asset to you once you decide to have kids. They'll make sure they get your full attention when they want it, and you'll make sure you get your work in when you want to.
~Kate
The books should be in any day now. You mentioned a cheat sheet though, what cheat sheet?
Re: I know what you mean
My mom keeps telling me the same thing-- that I won't have to worry about reorganizing my time because it'll just be an obvious priority. The baby cries and you don't think, "Hmm, should I keep typing?" You just do what needs to be done.
Re: Thoughts on family size
Oprah Winfrey has no children because she thought too hard. She fully recognized the awesome responsibility, but too much so, and never took the dive. Young mothers often report that they didn't think enough. I guess, as with everything, there's a balance in there somewhere. The truth is that no matter when you start, you probably do most of your growth as a mom AFTER they're in your life. So to some extent, rushing headlong aint such an awful idea. What I think DOES need to be thought through carefully is family size. I have four kids, and find it difficult to give all of them the individual attention they need. When I started my family, I had too much of a "herd" mentality. Though I have no regrets, and I love all my kids dearly, I do like to suggest to folks that they think carefully about having more than two. I do somehow manage to give my kids what they need, but it's not easy. At this point, I'm taking each one out to a long breakfast once a month, which really helps. They talk. What's hard too is that today's kids have many more scheduled activities (out of necessity for various reasons) than we did a generation ago. As their chauffer, I sometimes simply can't be in four places at once. Fortunately, other mothers take pity on me sometimes and bail me out...
Afterthought: On the other hand, having three siblings is the best thing that could have happened to my son, David, who has Down syndrome. So maybe I did exactly what I needed to do. Who knows? Linda Moran
Re: Thoughts on family size
Interesting that right after I read Linda's post I saw this:
Quote:"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them." --Desmond Tutu
Of course we're never really "ready" to start a family. You just gotta go for it -- provided you are emotionally stable, of course, and that you have at least SOME financial means in place to take care of the child/children. We weren't rich when we had our child, but she hasn't suffered for that. We had a lot of help and so will any other first-time parent with a supportive family. If you really want to have a child, you'll find a way to make yourself "ready." Going overboard in overplanning it can neglect the part of your life you REALLY need to focus on: Focusing on what YOU want and what YOU need. There's so much fear and anxiety. But no matter how much you plan for it or how long you wait until you "feel" it's time, you'll never be really "ready" until after you've actually got a baby to take care of.
Just my thoughts.
If life throws you a curve ball, swing!
stormie267 One of the locals
Posts: 185
(12/20/04 11:20 am) Reply
Re: Thoughts on family size
Quote:But no matter how much you plan for it or how long you wait until you "feel" it's time, you'll never be really "ready" until after you've actually got a baby to take care of.
Well said, Dawn.
One other thing about being around children (whether you're a parent or teacher or aunt/uncle...), they're an endless supply of anecdotes for fillers in magazines!
Edited by: stormie267 at: 12/20/04 11:21 am
reph Keeper of the folded waterproof tarp
Posts: 1521
(12/20/04 8:34 pm) Reply
Re: Thoughts on family size
Linda wrote: "I do like to suggest to folks that they think carefully about having more than two."
The reasons to limit family size go beyond the immediate concerns of the family. Thirty years ago, some conscientious couples stopped after their second child because there were too many people in the world. Today there are even more people in the world, and the physical environment is in even worse shape. I don't know what happened to the "stop at two" movement.
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